July 08

It has been very eventful as after leaving work I had notification that I could move my dad on the Monday, which was the day before I supposed to travel to France.  Therefore the journey was delayed until the Thursday.  It took 3 days to move all of my dad’s belongings, carpet his bungalow, buy and fit his cooker and trim his garden.  

So on the Thursday I set off.  The journey was good to Dover where I had my last fish and chip dinner.  The ferry was delayed for an hour that meant I did not start to drive in France until 9.30pm.  

Now pin your ears back for a tail of woe that will have you crying with laughter or if you really did like me, sadness.

I took a recommended route, from a friend that was described as beneficial as you missed Paris and it only took 20 minutes extra. B*******, at best I would describe it as scenic, in the pitch black, and it took an additional 1hour 30 minutes to get to the same point on the south side of Paris.  

I decided to grab 30 winks at that point as it was 1am.    The service station car park was packed solid with 18 wheelers and many unsavoury people, bloody hundreds of them all looking at the contents of my car.  So I bottled that stop and pushed on down the A71.  

As I approached Limoges there was a strange maneuver by a French driver that put his car on its roof in the centre lane, that woke me up I can tell you.  As I approached Limoges there was an almighty thunder storm ahead so I decided to try to sleep for a second time. I grabbed 30 minutes and set off again at 3.30am.  After driving for 30 minutes I woke up drifting across the auto route toward the central crash barrier, so I thought it best not to mimic my French friend from earlier and I pulled in again.  

0600 on the dot I set off for what I thought was the final leg, silly me.  The thunder storm was still there, waiting for me.  Aqua-planning at 80 mph with a car that is loaded with its own weight in luggage is not an experience I would like to repeat or recommend.  

Anyway I pulled into a service at 8.30am to have breakfast and ring Terina.  Breakfast was a slice of my energy bar and a cup of sludge that passes for coffee from a vending machine.  The pay phones only accept credit cards that are FRENCH, so Terina had to wait for an update.  I arrived at the toll booth outside Montrauban at 9am to find that my car had decided to play games in that I could not get the gears and the clutch to work together and all my efforts some how drained the battery.

I was promptly removed from the auto route by "scams are us" at a cost of 118 euros.  They then decided it was a good idea to tell an Englishman who was tired and fed up that Citroen batteries do not charge Vauxhall batteries.  I'll let you decide what my response was.  They then tried to sell me a battery, a Citroen battery at that, and yes I did suggest that by their logic it would not work in my car but they failed to understand my sarcasm.  Anyway they asked for 197 euros for a battery………….. they are still asking.  

Finally the car gave up the ghost and was transported to the local Opel dealership.  The Opel mechanic said he could fix the problem, price unknown at this time.  The dealership were very friendly as by it was now midday and I was in fear of collapse without food so they pointed me to the local bistro.  Cheap and cheerful and just what I needed.  I returned to the garage to find that the car could be repaired, yippee I cried, and then they said it would be in a fortnight, and then I just cried.

I rang Terina to tell her my joyous news.  She decided to send Colin to collect me. I settled myself down in the waiting area of the dealership and within minutes I was gone.  I woke two hours later dripping wet with a throat that resembled the Sahara.  Anyway Colin arrived shortly after and we transferred over all my belongings and set off home.  

I arrived at 6pm, about 10 hours later than planned.